Push!

When I quit working out a year-and-a-half ago, it was due to time and financial constraints. Now that both of those issues aren’t as pressing, I thought I’d hit the gym once again. I’ve sporadically tried to keep in shape over the years, so I thought this extended break wouldn’t affect me or my ability to work on my fitness. Boy, was I wrong. Day one of my workout ended with me feeling dizzy and on the verge of throwing up. Day two was much more impressive … and painful. Day three, I actually felt good and more healthy. Looks like I’ll have to keep this up, because I already feel like I’m in better shape and have even noticed a slight improvements in my figure. I’m at 216 now and Pure Fitness says I could be at 193 by the end of May. We’ll see.

I officially started liking my job a few months ago when I became a copy editor. I discovered this when I realized I was enjoying reading stories that weren’t so well written, liked staying late to finish up and get ahead for the next day, and when work stopped being work. Yes, folks, I think I’ve finally found my true career path … even if it did take a few years to get here.

Being domestic is fun! All that cooking, cleaning and shopping for housewares is like a quiet therapy and hanging out at home is becoming more desirable than going out to eat, hitting the club or finding some other way to entertain myself away from home. DVR greatly helps this.

Has it been that long since I’ve written?

Wow, I hadn’t realized it had been that long since I posted anything for my legion of fans to read. Fortunately for you all, I’ve got the urge to compose a blog tonight, so I figure, why resist it? Here’s a hodge-podge of thoughts, updates and rants.

About a month ago I started working at Sierra H Broadcasting in the promotions department. Sierra H is the parent company responsible for Phoenix radio stations Mega 104.3/99.3 FM (www.mega1043.com) which plays R&B and Energy Arizona 92.7/101.1 FM (www.energyarizonafm.com) which plays dance. I used to work for the company five years ago. At that time, Mega was young and Energy was a rock station. One of the longer opportunities to get hours at either station is working at Sixshooters on Saturday nights, typically from 6 p.m. to about 3 a.m. For those of you who have never ventured over to the West Phoenix’s hot spot, be prepared for inconsistent fun. (I’m not going to lie, sometimes it’s off the hook, other days it’s a little dry.)

I pulled that shift this past weekend, the night was a little on the dry side of the spectrum, and I couldn’t help but think about how important performing arts are in public schools. How did I make this connection you ask? Well, after noticing how many people were a part of the rhythmless nation, I kept thinking about how they used to teach us to dance in school. Mind you, most of the individuals at this club were probably a few years older than me, but I couldn’t help but think that if we had maybe spent more time learning formal and popular dance rather than focusing on standardized testing that I wouldn’t see consistent murder on the dance floor. Really, what do the tests prove? My vote is for more dance lessons so that I don’t keep getting offended at what passes for dancing these days.

(Straight grinding or pelvic thrusts do not equal dancing.)

Though the dancing was bad, the music was fairly on point. I mean, some of the songs were played as many as four times in a six-hour span, but it’s not like that’s uncommon. I had a musical escape in the mp3′s my friend Adrian sent me of MoKenStef. For those of you who forgot about MoKenStef, you probably remember He’s Mine, one of the most played songs of 1995. I’ve been drifting back to the summer between my freshman and sophomore year at Trevor G. Browne High School when I hear the girls sing “He’s mine/ You may of had him once/ But I got him all the time.” How I miss the days where that song graced the radio waves of Power 92 and my TV screen when I turned to BET or MTV. This album is definitely a nominee for my flashback album of the year–but they’re up against Jade, so we’ll all have to wait until December to find out who wins.

True victory was mine when a little over a week ago when my friend Blair and I rearranged my room. I’ll have to post pictures later of the change, but the set up is much more visitor friendly and also more comfortable. Perhaps I was inspired by catching portions of the many home shows my mom watches on HGTV, but I had to make the change. I have a huge shelf/wall-unit and an elevated bed with a wooden frame that dominated the room. The shelf stayed where it is, but the bed got pushed into a corner. I also replaced my old desk and TV cart that held my printer with a brand new desk from Ikea (thank you, Daniel, for exposing me to the joy of Ikea!). Once the bed was moved, my dresser and nightstand changed locations, and then the desk was replaced. The finishing touch was setting up my newly-purchased papa san chair from Pier 1. Now I have a spot to read, talk on the phone and play my video games that’s not my bed and doesn’t encourage me to fall asleep the minute I lay on it.

Reading is sure to be a big part of my future. I just found out today that my project, my final task before I can graduate from the University of Missouri, has FINALLY been approved! HALLELUJAH! This means I can get started on my research and move the process of graduating along. I’m beyond ready to be done, but my goal is to finish up by Mizzou’s homecoming in October, or at the very latest by the time my birthday swings around in November. Wish me luck–finishing that up would be the best gift!

Where did the weeks go?

Hello to all of you in the blogosphere,

I apologize for not writing for nearly two weeks. I hadn’t realized so many days had gone by since my last entry. An update was clearly needed, so prepare to be amused by my random thoughts.

Yesterday, I went to McDonald’s to grab dinner for my mother and I. I was third in line, before me was a woman, and before her was a man with two sons. While this man was ordering the meals for him and his kids, one of his “heavenly treasures” proceeded to climb up on the counter and took gift cards and slid them into the Ronald McDonald House. Mind you, this was not a sign of generosity, but a sign of being undisciplined. The woman in front of me looked at me and we both just sort of laughed, because it took nearly 5 minutes before the dad said anything to the child. Since he wasn’t mine, I wasn’t about to say anything–he’s not mine. There’s probably some folks out there thinking “it takes a village to raise a child.” While that may be true, how come it only takes two people to make one?

I’ve been hating on Arizona lately. Don’t get me wrong, I love it here because of my friends, family and familiarity. My annoyance comes from the general “scene” that’s present in the state. In my job, I interview quite a few chefs at restaurants around town. I also have a pretty good idea of what nightclubs attract which crowds. I even have a little insight as to what businesses are trying to get into Arizona, specifically the Phoenix area and its surrounding suburbs. I guess what’s bugged me about some of what I’ve seen and learned is that in Phoenix (and by saying  that I mean the city and those same surrounding areas) we seem to be trend followers rather than trend starters. (I’ve probably opened a can of worms that truly could have been its own blog.) There a few examples I’ll base this on. For starters, there seems to be an obsession with name brands. The cars have to be BMW, Lexus or Jaguar. The stores have to be Nordstrom, Abercrombie & Fitch or Hollister. The restaurants have to be Cheesecake Factory, P.F. Chang’s or Zen 32. The cars are hot, the stores are fierce and the food is delicious, but sometimes in this town when something opens, usually a chain, folks will line up outside the establishment to get a preview. Aren’t we missing out on the many fine mom-and-pop joints that are springing up over the Valley? What about all the fine boutiques and vintage stores? Is the bus so bad? Perhaps these are all just the status symbols that so many of us gravitate to. This “Phoenix State of Mind” is further perpetuated when it comes to celebrities. A-list, B-list, C-list, D-list, it doesn’t matter–if you have any sort of fame to your name, you’re treated like royalty. ROYALTY! Magazines out here will want to write stories about you even though you haven’t released an album in 10 years. Television shows will regularly feature you as a guest even though your shoulder was the only visible part of you in The Da Vinci Code. Red carpet treatment will be provided for you at the opening of the latest chain fashion outlet despite the fact you starred as the son of some more famous actress in a sitcom that aired 30 years ago. Last night, I had the privilege of hearing Frankie Bones DJ. Good mixer, probably one of the best, but the crowd was whack! You know some of the folks who planned on going to the event probably spent a while on their outfits. T-shirts, skirts and shoes had to be pressed and clean. Tattoos had to be revealed. Accessories had to be plenty. Whether or not they actually thought that no one would have on the same outfit, same tattoo and tattoo placement, or same color combination of strung up glow sticks, it turned out that a good portion of the crowd had clones in the audience. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I did double takes because I thought someone was someone else, only to find out this was a supposedly different person wearing nearly the same outfit to a T. Can’t we do some original stuff here without copying or getting “approval” from someone who was born outside of Arizona, usually L.A., New York, Chicago or Atlanta? I have to think that there’s more uniquely AZ people, activities and places that can contribute to a scene here–where they at, where they at? Enough ranting… for now.

Last weekend I spent some time with old friends from high school. I enjoyed the time we spent together that day, despite what attitude I may have been giving off (I was tired, sue me). TGB people, I got love for you! When’s the next party?

Hopeless about love and relationships? I feel you! It can be a pain to put yourself in the dating scene with all the games and ambiguous messages. No one wants to be hurt, and I think to a certain extent, no one wants to hurt anyone else. Lately I’ve had a reason to think that it doesn’t have to be the hopeless situation so many of us make it seem. I think there truly can be someone (dare I say even a few people?) that compliment you and make good life partners. They might not come right away, you may or may not be looking for them, but when they come, recognize them before they have a chance to slip away.

Survivor–So happy was I when Terry was taken out, leaving Aras and Danielle. I was happy with Aras’s win, but don’t we all wish that lovable Cirie would have been in the top 2?

Amazing Race–The hippies win it! They’ll do because the frat guys were a little too macho for my taste (or secretly hiding their homosexual desires). Would have loved for Ray and Yolanda to follow in the footsteps of Chip and Kim and Uchenna and Joyce, but I guess we can’t win them all.

American Idol–were we really surprised when Taylor one? Once the sistas and Elliott were gone, I pretty much didn’t care who took the title.

So You Think You Can Dance–am I the only one who thinks this show is underrated?

America’s Next Top Model–love Danielle, but isn’t the way the final two went down a little similar to what happened with Nik and Nicole last cycle?

Rihanna’s Unfaithful–this is my JAM right now, despite being co-written by Ne-Yo! Be prepared for a stellar debut when I post June’s Top 10 iPod/iTunes songs. (FYI- it would be #9 if I posted today–mind you, I just bought the CD Thursday).

Getting Back To “Me” Update

There’s been a great sense of liberation since my last blog. I feel like I’ve emerged from the slump I was in and am now moving through life in much more focused, positive and beneficial manners. Who says there isn’t some therapy in writing? “Naming” the issues truly helped in recognizing those things that were holding me down and beginning the process of conquering them.

The job hunt continues with some promising leads. I’ve barely been at home this week, so perhaps that’s making my heart grow fonder of it. Personal relationships on multiple levels are doing quite well. Steps are being taken to reacquaint me with being an active citizen. The debt is still piling up, but it’s not my fault they packaged six DJ Irene CDs into one box for only $30. They MADE me buy the set!

Sorry if this is lame, folks, can’t really think of anything big to write about right now, but I’m sure something will inspire me to do so in the future.

Getting Back To “Me”

I’ve been quite the spectrum of emotions over the last couple of weeks. One minute I’m on the highest of highs only to have that feeling turned upside down seconds later into depressing lows. I suppose this is something a lot of people go through, so I take solace in knowing my case has yet to be diagnosed.

I’ve been trying to nail down exactly what it is that causes these occasional shifts in my mood. A lot of factors contribute to the emotional sum. There’s work (or a lack of it due to my resignation at the place I started working at last week–trust me, it was for the best). There’s home. There’s friends. There’s love. There’s debt. Ther’s my lack of involvement. There’s probably several other things I could list that I’m failing to recognize at this time.

Are these all sources for my current woes? I would say the root of the issues stems from my dissatisfaction of how I’ve been handling them. Rather than embracing challenges and maintaining my trademark optimism, I seem to have succumbed to feelings of laziness, victimization and hopelessness. Those emotions, while valid, aren’t healthy for extended periods of time. So, it’s here that I make my declaration to stop the insanity!  (Thank you, Susan Powter)

Working at a great place doesn’t have to be something that’s unobtainable. Instead, it can be a home away from home that puts my skills to use, money in pocket and offers a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day.

Home doesn’t need to feel like a clutter-laden, non-interactive and scrub-housing hole where I lay my head at night. It can be a place to relax, relate and reconcile.

Friends shouldn’t be a chore to keep in touch with or to spend time with. Their presence can serve as a constant reminder of good times, listening and laughter, and their ability to serve as an extension (sometimes substitution) of the biological family.

Happiness with another person will not be waiting in vain for that call or that text, settling for third-class treatment or putting life on hold for them. Rather, it can be a reciprocated set of emotions expressed verbally and through actions.

Possessions won’t possess me. Instead, debt can be another mountain that is easily turned into a molehill–a challenge that can be taken on and conquered!

Being involved doesn’t have to be a memory of the past. It can be a reality in the present in an area I’m passionate about and willing to initiate.

Writing these thoughts down has been empowering. I hope and pray that I can channel these positive vibes in to a productive and purposeful state of being.

Small Successes

Sometimes the little things can make a difference in how successful and good you feel about life. Despite my inability to sleep past 7 a.m., I’m in a great mood, and I think some of these events helped that.

1) My room has finally been purged of junk! I’ve had two yard sales to get rid of unwanted stuff. Whatever I didn’t sell this past weekend was happily donated to Goodwill on Thursday, freeing up some space in my room. Once I buy a shelf to better organize my ‘office space’, it’ll be time for rearranging. Anyone an expert in Feng Shui?

2) Recently reacquainted myself with someone whom I felt I’d given a bad impression. Our previous experiences hanging out weren’t the best, as I was usually tired, cranky, and in one instance, anti-social. Our most recent encounter was much more positive, and I think the friendship was not only healed, but progressed down a positive pathway.

3) Landed a job that looks like it will be right up my alley as well as challenging and an opportunity to learn new skills. The people I’ve met so far seem quite friendly and willing to help me learn how to be successful in the position. And who doesn’t like being paid?

4) Reorganized my book and video shelves so they are more pleasing to look at and also easier to access. Anyone who has been in my room may remember this ginormous wall unit I have in my room. It basically serves as the storage for all my media. It’s been a mess ever since I returned home, but a few adjustments have made it right as rain.

5) I’ve somewhat started to get back in the groove of reading on a regular basis. The steps are small–I’m trying to knock out a ridiculously tall stack of comic books first, then make my way to my magazines and books, some of which have been in cue to be read for years. Reading is truly a joy I’ve denied myself for too long.

Testing My Capabilities

Call me weird, and some of you might after reading this. I have these strange desires to test my ability to survive certain situations. For example, I haven’t been in a fight in years. That’s something I’m very proud of, the fact that I’ve been able to avoid situations like that or use other methods to resolve disagreements. Those, coupled with the fact I’d probably get my ass kicked, still haven’t stopped me from WANTING to be in one. It could be anywhere–the park, a club, whatever. As long as no weapons get pulled and it’s a straight fist fight, it might be fun to see how I react and respond in a situation where time is clearly of the essence. Another example: I recently named another ‘fantasy’ of mine while filling out an application. Apparently, I also think it would be cool to cut myself off from all of my friends and family for an undetermined amount of time. I’m curious to see how I would handle myself if I didn’t have financial or emotional support in a new place.

What am I hoping to gain by doing these things? Aren’t there other ways to see what I’m made of?  I hope so, because this is in no way an invitation for a fist fight or an opportunity for anyone to stop keeping in touch with me. Deep down, as intriguing as these ideas sound, I don’t think I really want to fully engage in either of the two scenarios because I’d miss my loved ones too much and I’m too delicate. But perhaps I’m looking for some way to test my ability to adapt, to think fast, to work off of adrenaline. Any suggestions are welcome.

Cleanin’ Out My Closet

There’s been some breakthrough at my house in terms of cleaning and organization. First, let me explain how things typically work at my house. My parents are packrats. They keep almost everything, but occasionally will put a bag on the front lawn filled with old, but usable clothes, for chartiy groups. They are also in the process of furnishing our home, which we’ve lived in for more than 11 years. I am a semi-packrat who has more junk than he knows what to do with, and still wonders how he ended up with so much junk in the first place. I tend to get rid of stuff more frequently than my parents do, but that could be related to the number of times I’ve moved in the last few years and because I try to resist being a packrat any opportunity I get. This past weekend, I had a yard sale and was able to get rid of quite a bit of unwanted items. My parents even contributed some of their unwanted items to be the yard sale to become someone else’s treasure. They recently purchased a new couch for our living room, too, which should be arriving this weekend, and got rid of the old couch we’ve had for 15 years (mind you, it was purchased from a yard sale in ’91…it clearly got it’s $50 of use), so our home is becoming brand new again, and free of the old clutter. It’s funny how the old stuff can sometimes weigh you down, and once it’s gone, how freeing it can feel. Maybe there’s hope for my family yet to get our house in order.

Cleaning is believing! X-Men stuff, too!

Wow, time for a lame topic…cleaning!  Any of you who talk to me via instant message or even by phone have probably contacted me at some point, asked me what I was doing, and the response was cleaning.  I thought about that the other day.  I’m always cleaning, and yet my room is still a mess.  My files on my computer are disorganized as are their paper counterparts.  So, what is the overall goal of all of this cleaning?  I wish I knew.  Maybe it serves a therapeutic purpose.  It’s a semi-relaxing chore that signals stability once finished.  Who knows?  And who knows why I even wrote about it?

Those of you who are into comic books, please read Uncanny X-Men 466-468!  I nearly shed a tear after reading this three-issue arc in which Marvel Girl, aka Rachel Grey, who is the daughter of Scott Summers (Cyclops) and Jean Grey (Phoenix) from the future (yeah, that’s actually the easiest part of the story to explain… if you want the whole story, I’ll tell you via e-mail) goes to visit Jean’s parents and meet other members of her current-time family.  Anyway, as Rachel is visiting her family, they are attacked by Shi’ar assassins.  Those familiar with the X-Men will know the role the Shi’ar plays in mutant mythos.  The Shi’ar are the ones who declared the Phoenix (Jean) too dangerous to live and tried to kill her before she sacrificed herself for the sake of the galaxy (sort of, it’s complicated, too).  In this present, the Shi’ar deemed the Grey lineage too dangerous to exist, so they smoked the entire Grey family except for Rachel (and Cable…again, complicated), despite her best efforts and those of the X-Men.  Deep stuff, again proving how doomed that family was/is since they’ve come into contact with Professor X.

Crash Into Me

That’s exactly what the dump truck that hit me yesterday did.  For those of you familiar with the Phoenix freeway system, I was traveling westbound on the I-10.  As I was in the tunnel, I noticed a dump truck with it’s blinker on, attempting to move into my lane, but it was quite a ways back.  A few seconds later, I turn to my left, and the truck is getting over into my lane, but wait…I’m not out of the way!  The truck hits my car, took out my driver’s side mirror and the two doors on the driver’s side.  So nicely, in fact, that the driver’s side door won’t open, so if I attempt to drive the car (which I’m not), I have to get in on the passenger’s side.  Needless to say, the car is out of action for a while.  Hopefully it can be fixed and won’t have to be totalled.  It’s not an incredibly old car, but it’s not young, and it’s not worth much, so who knows what will happen.  Did I do something bad to someone?  This is serious karma if I did.  (Did I mention my iPod also stopped working today?)  I know things like this happen to better people than me all the time, so I’m not in “why me?” mode, but I am in a “why now?” mindset.  I’m clearly not in the position to be buying a new/used car (nor do I want to) and I don’t really live in a place where a car is a luxury.  Here, they’re pretty much necessity.  Sigh.  The next few days are going to be very interesting.