Are You a Racist?

Take notes:

http://www.alternet.org/blogs/video/93644/

LAZY!

I went to a premiere last night for California and the American Dream, a mini-series set to air on PBS starting on April 14. The series is about how California has developed in the first majority minority state, essentially, the people of color outnumber the caucasians. Topics covered include the beginning of Indian gaming, immigration, politics and coalition building, and farming. Don’t sleep on this series, it looks like it is going to be good, and it was very well produced.

One portion of the preview sparked conversation between Nikki and me. The series started discussing workers’ rights, the farm workers’ movement, civil rights, and the like that have taken place in California. Let’s also remember what has happened in other regions of the country, especially in the South. It’s amazing to me how much these people did and were able to accomplish. I mean, the individuals that were involved in the struggle for equal rights worked hard, low paying jobs. They raised families. They were often active in their churches. All of that takes up so much time, but they still believed in their causes so much that they took the time to protest, and often got arrested or beat down in the process. That’s dedication, and thanks to them, we live in a much improved world.

Hearing about these individuals once again made me feel lazy. The thought of trying to do what these people did seems overwhelming, even though we have the technology and previous movements’ strategies to utilize in bringing about change. Most of these movements were very grass roots

Have we just accepted that things are never going to change? Have we just accepted that we can never evoke change?  Do we just not care? There’s plenty of injustices still left in this country, they seem to have taken a much more subtle method of oppressing us than the blatant acts of years ago. Are we not angry enough to mobilize and fight them? Or are we just uninspired? What will it take for us to honor those who came before us and act for the betterment of all of us, rather than just trying to get “ours”?

For the Sake of Conversation

I spent a portion of the weekend catching up on Addicted to Race, a podcast that discusses various racial issues, with a focus on mixed race issues. If you haven’t heard of it or would like to sign up, check out www.addictedtorace.com for more info. Onward…

In this one particular podcast, the conversation opened up about the new show on F/X called Black. White. The show, for those of you that haven’t heard about it, takes a white family and a black family, and basically has them change races. Through the art of makeup and wigs, the black family becomes white, and the white family becomes black. This experiment is meant to open the eyes of one race to the experiences of the other. It’s debatable if that will happen with some of the individuals participating in the experiment, but that’s a whole other blog entry I may save for the end of the season. The hosts of Addicted to Race seemed to take issue with the show, almost implying that it was a regression in the otherwise perceived,  positive portrayals of race relations in the media. I took from their comments that they didn’t necessarily see a point to the show, and that no one was going to come away with any better understanding of how the “other side” experiences things.

While this may be true, I’d rather not pass judgment on the project until after it has come and gone. What can’t be denied is the conversations it will no doubt encourage. A show like this is still a huge draw, and slightly controversial, so the buzz will be present. I think that buzz is going to encourage more people to discuss race in ways that might not be possible in mediums such as television.  It’s sort of like what Dave Chappelle recently said about his show. I’ll admit, I don’t watch the show for a number of reasons, one of them being that I heard there was farily consistent use of the “N word.” I guess I thought that would be a dangerous thing to be doing in a mainstream show, using a word that so many blacks find offensive, yet affirming at the same time, and putting that out there for other groups to see, and get ambiguous messages about it’s appropriate and inappropriate use. The Chappelle Show sparked all kinds of conversations about using this word that I’m not sure would have happened on their own. Could the same be possibly for Black. White.?

While the quality of the show may be in question, I still get the impression that it’s going to be one that’s talked about, and not just because of the experiment, but the results at the end. The topic of race will have a national platform, and I think the smaller conversations that take place outside of the show will be worth any qualitative issues.

Squirm

Can I confess something? Years ago, I took a philosophy class at ASU, and secretly enjoyed when so many of the underclassmen squirmed as our teacher challenged their religious beliefs. What was so entertaining is that so many of them refused to even CONSIDER something other than a spiritual explanation to all the questions he posed and their defenses always relied on a higher power to explain the creation of all things.

I used to be involved heavily in Camp Anytown, a diversity leadership camp in Arizona that promotes “getting along with everyone” values to the state’s high school population. Again, I enjoyed seeing the children become uncomfortable when ever their privileges were thrown in their face, or they were put in situations other racial/ cultural groups experience daily, or they were forced to confront their own “isms.”

Is this all to say I enjoy seeing people go through painful experiences? Of course not. Rather, I was enjoying where the processes these individuals were going through because I knew where they could lead. These were instances that people were learning to be more open-minded about whatever issues they were being confronted with. It was the facing down of their “isms” and trying to become a better person. Watching this with the awareness can be frustratin, because you want them to “get it” soon, but some people have to learn the hard way. It’s sort of a “this is going to hurt you more than it hurts me” situation. I can’t honestly say I was comfortable when some of these circumstances confronted me, but I think this confrontation is necessary, as are the cringing and squirming. In my eyes, that symbolizes thought, and thinking about these issues is a step up from not, which leads to doing nothing. Thinking about them leads to talking about them, which leads to doing something about them. Squirm on.

It truly is…hard out here fo’ a pimp!

Ecstatic! That’s the only way to explain my feelings after watching the Oscars last night. Even though I haven’t seen many of the movies that were nominees or provided the Academy with the talent who were nominated, I was happy that so many of the films touched on social issues and actually made people talk about rather than just entertaining. Hopefully this is continuing trend, and I’m glad that Crash was able to play a part in that.  I just saw that movie this weekend, and felt the need to talk about it and process it with others. It’s a great flick talking about racial issues in Los Angeles. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend you do, and sooner rather than later. I admit to being a little surprised that Brokeback Mountain did not win, and while it didn’t, it’s undeniable that this film also made people think about love, gay relationships, and challenged stereotypes. I’ve yet to see the movie, but it was fantastic to see two flicks dealing with social issues share best picture nominations. I hope is a reoccuring event.

Secondly, ecstatic is the only way to describe how I felt when my song–the song I’ve known about and loved since June of 2005–took the best original song award. Hard Out Here For A Pimp. The name says it all. I was grooving when Three 6 Mafia performed it with Taraji Henson, whose voice is pretty dynamic–could there be an album in her future? I shot up out of my seat when they were announced the winners. That, combined with Crash’s win, gave me hope that movies are being looked at for what they are rather than who their target audience might be. If a film is good, it’s good. If it’s theme or soundtrack compliments and captures the mood of the movie, then it’s a success. My fingers are crossed and prayers are being sent up in hopes that art, which so many rely on as the standard of change in our culture, continue this progressive trend to greatness.

Interracial and Intraracial Dating Revisited

Sorry to those of you out there in blog land. I know my posts have been nonexistent lately, but work has been extremely busy. In fact, that’s a blog entry in itself that will probably be posted within the next few days. Today’s topic is interracial and intraracial dating, specifically my feelings on the two.

I’ve been reflecting on my reactions to seeing interracial couples and the experiences others and myself have had in that area. I found I usually became concerned by people who exclusively dated people outside of their own race. The reasons usually revolve around experiences growing up or previous dating experiences (positive with the particular race the person prefers to date, and usually negative with the racial group they belong to),  because they were more physically attracted to people of another race, or they somehow found a connection to whatever culture it was they tended to date.

Those reasons probably affect any dating situation, regardless of the racial backgrounds of the parties involved. In interracial dating situations, one must consider: do you exclusively date a person of another race, and if so why? Is there some self-hatred going on, or a perceived lack of culture? Are you entranced by the exotic nature of your partner or even interracial sex? Are you in this relationship to spite someone else? I don’t feel most of  the reasons for being interested in a person of another race are necessarily bad or uncommon, and they are sometimes motivated by day to day actions, i.e. you work around, go to school with, or interact regularly with people of a different race or the unavailability of people within your own racial background. But if they are strictly motivated by self-race hatred, exoticized fantasies, or “revenge” purposes, that’s emotionally unhealthy because the reasons for “coupling” are no longer affiliated with love or liking someone. That’s unfair to your partner and others who may be in sincere, similar relationships.

For my folks who like to date within your race, it’s fine to exercise that, and I understand why so many do. Not only are you partnering with someone who is likely to understand the experiences you’ve dealt with, but you are able to pass important cultural information to your children (and by no means can you not do the same if you have biracial/multiracial children).  It’s a choice, just like those who choose to date interracially, that you are free to make. My concern in this area comes from those who, while dating within their own race, prefer to date the lighter end of their race group’s spectrum or those who may be FOB (“fresh-off-the-boat”) or “too (insert race or country of origin here). The first is problematic for so many reasons because it starts turning again to those “self-hatred” issues. If perpetuates that lighter is more beautiful. It perpetuates that white is the standard of beauty. It perpetuates us believing and buying into that. Is that not potentially as damaging as critics of interracial dating have claimed that practice to be? Not everyone does this, but for those who have, this is just something to think about, and question your own motivations for who you choose to date. Is doing it internally somehow better than looking outside your group for love? The second seems potentially bad, too, because someone is perceived as being “too” close to their heritage. Is it bad to be attached to your culture? Is there something more respected and desired by seeming more “American?” Does this play into some sort of caste system? To me, it seems like, for some, those answers are yes, yes, and yes, which are issues I suppose we each must work out individually.

I’ve seen happy couples who were mixed race and the same race. I’ve seen same race and mixed race couples end in divorce or breakup. Depending on how hard you want to work, and how much you let others get to you, you can have a successful relationship regardless of your and your partner’s race. This is not to say that the world is colorblind, and we “shouldn’t see race.” Instead, I think we should respect each other’s cultures and issues, both internally and externally. If you’re going to date a “brown” person, realize you’re going to have to deal with some brown person issues. If you’re not prepared for that, good luck finding a person of color who won’t at some point in your relationship want to discuss how racial issues have affected them. If you’re white (fully or mixed), recognize that you (may) have privilege in our society. Know that you don’t know everything in regards to racism and oppression, but there’s nothing wrong with respectfully asking questions and try to understand these issues. I can only speak for myself, but I know I appreciate that open-mindedness. Know if you date a white person that they may be unaware of so many of these issues, but don’t mistake ignorance for IGNORANCE. Just because they are unaware of or haven’t experienced these issues does not mean that they are unwilling to listen, learn, or dialogue about them. Be careful of that assumption, as it to can be damaging to them listening to these issues in the future, not only with you, but with others, and in a group sense. Intragroup wise, I question how those who prefer to date within their own race can successfully do so when they still have their exclusions based on skin color or their closeness to their culture. It seems to be some sort of “compensation” for not being (insert race here) enough, yet with those exclusions, they still come up short and again buy into the white standard of beauty.

Sigh, this sounds preachy. Again, I just offer my thoughts and feelings on the subjects.

Levels of Understanding

Have you ever had a moment where someone said something that caught you completely off guard because it was so ignorant or offensive?  If so, you probably lost all train of thought and found it hard to continue whatever conversation you were involved in because of the semantics of what had been said.  Within certain cultures, it’s clear that certain words and their meanings are commonly understood, as are the cultures’ history and collective experiences of those within their respective groups.  I wonder, does an inability to empathize or an unwillingness to understand each others’ groups slow down our progression of eliminating racial and other diversity issues?  Does it feel like someone from another group hasn’t paid attention to the respect you and your ancestors before you have fought for for centuries?  Does it feel like they just refuse to listen to your community’s issues or that they write them off as “ancient history?”  I would think it would be hard to build on the conversation of improving racial/ diversity relations when the very basic conversations can’t happen because of some people refusing to listen, and others refusing to speak.

Mixed Race Panel & Issues – My Take

Yesterday, I had the privilege of sitting on a panel for a dicsussion entitled Challenge and Opportunity: Biracial and Multiracial Identities. As the third in a series of Healing Racism conversations, this was a chance for participants and audience members to explore issues dealing with having a mixed race heritage.  The conversation went well.  Even though the number of people in attendance was low, I applaud those who attended, who, for at least a few hours, had to consciously think of issues that the other panelists and myself deal with on a daily basis.  I know I always appreciate it when others try to see things from my perspective.  There were, however, a few comments that were brought up that I found troubling.

The first was during the question and answer portion of the discussion.  One of the audience members told us how his children were half-black and half-German, and then proceeded to ask who our role models were.  Somewhere in his asking this question and explaining his situation, he mentioned something about when he decided to have children, he decided he wanted them to be different.  Hmmm. A child can be different because they are tall or short, because they are into sports or the performing arts, because they are outgoing…there’s a seemingly endless list.  Was this man saying he purposely sought out to have biracial children?  I didn’t get a chance to talk to him afterward, but I found his statement problematic.  One reason was because he is potentially exoticizing his own children.  Secondly, because of this potential exoticification, his kids could grow up feeling they are better or “more special” because of their mixed race heritage, which could come across as being stuck up or even not proud of one or both parts of their heritage.

The next issue I had was with several audience members, and even some of the panel, kept referring to those of us on the panel as “beautiful brown” people.  While flattering, this again falls into the myth that all people of mixed race backgrounds are somehow more attractive than people who may only have one main racial heritage.

The third issue I had was a comment made by one of the facilitators who said that people who are of a “monoracial” background are more likely to look like their brothers and sisters than those who come from a multiracial background.  While I can see some truth to this, I wouldn’t say that is always the case.  I could toss out examples of monoracial people who look nothing like their siblings, and multiracial people who do look like their siblings, but I think what my conclusion was on this statement is that there might be more of a chance for multiracial people to not look like their siblings if you factor in skin tone, which may or may not be present for people with monoracial backgrounds.

Finally, there was another panelist who had two sons who were half-black and half-white.  She had mentioned that their father (the black part of their heritage) was basically out of the picture from the time her boys were very young up to the present.  She actively looked for black men to be in their lives to serve as role models when they were younger, mostly in the form of coaches (from the part of her past she shared with us).  As a single parent, I can only imagine that it must be hard to compensate for the lack of a physical and emotional presence the other parent would serve.  I imagine it must be hard also if that parent is of another race, and you feel like to you need to immerse them in that half of their culture in order for them to grow up healthy in socially regarded terms of race.  I wonder sometimes if there’s the potential to overcompensate, to almost force kids into that half of their culture, rather than letting them discover and embrace that on their own terms.  I didn’t get that that was the case with this particular panelist, but have seen evidence of this elsewhere.

A few years ago at a mixed race conference, we watched a video that was put together by a man whose name I can’t remember.  He was black (mixed in some percentage, but I can’t remember with what) and was adopted by a white family.  He didn’t feel he had any exposure to black culture growing up. When he became an adult, his sister also adopted children, one who was also mixed black and another race.  The man decided that he was going to teach this boy about black culture, and took him to the proverbial Mecca of black culture, Harlem.  This boy had no interest in any of the things the man showed him.  He took him to the Apollo Theater, and the boy was more interested in the Xboxes that were being sold at a store next door.  He took the boy to Central Park and encouraged him to join in with some black girls who were jump-roping, specifically double dutch, but the boy was clearly uncomfortable doing so.  He took the boy to a soul food restaurant, but the boy found few of the offerings appetizing, and if I remember correctly, they were at McDonald’s within minutes.  Finally, the man realized he was trying to live through the boy, and “prevent” him from not knowing black culture as he got older.  His effort, while similar and different to that of this panelist, is valiant, but it looks like forced culture isn’t always successful.  Whether the children choose to learn about that culture as they get older is anyone’s guess, but it appears that there has to be some readiness for that to happen, or some form of integration, rather than imposing it upon them.

Are You Comfortable With Your “ISMS?”

Face it, we all have our “isms,” some negative or positive form of belief and judgment that we place onto another or group based solely on their skin color, sexual orientation, sex/ gender, religion, profession, relationship status, etc.  Even the most diverse among us have some not-so-logical beef with one group for some reason or another.  I applaud individuals who recognize their prejudice.  That’s a huge step in working to eliminate them.  What I find problematic is how comfortable some people are in harboring these beliefs.  I’m not even talking about those people who are actively hateful, such as members of the KKK or some Neo-Nazi groups.  I’m talking about otherwise intelligent people who believe majority groups have no interest in learning about them individually or about the groups to which they belong, and have “given up” teaching others about their culture(s).  I can see where this train of thought would come from.  It’s frustrating to have to always explain yourself and why you do what you do.  It’s hard to be the minority and constantly be looked at as different, the exception to the norm.  It’s unfair to be a novelty, someone whose issues only matter once a year in some heritage month or another.  At a certain point, it becomes a burden to have to be the one to explain everything and be the representative of your respective cultural group, and the pressure of knowing you’re the end all, be all, smiling (or not) example that some people will base their judgments on can be a lot to handle.  No one should have to shoulder that kind of responsibility.  However, at a certain point, I can’t help but think it’s the kind of uncomfortable responsibility (only partial, I’ll explain more later) that belongs to those in the minority.  If those in the minority don’t teach, who will?  If those in the minority don’t offer themselves as an individual AND as a member of a respected cultural group, how will those in the majority ever see a community’s true diversity?  If those in the minority refuse to help, how can those in the majority ever be open to adapt their views?  Those in majority groups (and many of us fall into at least one), please be advised that learning is a two way street.  Majority group members have to approach learning with an open mind.  Don’t think that you know everything, but also don’t think you know nothing.  Most importantly, think before asking a question… would you consider the question insensitive if the roles were reversed?  I hope this doesn’t come across as preaching, instead I just offer my thoughts on the matter and offer some possible starting points that I use to better understand those around me.

The Politics of Race

Race has been on my mind a lot lately.  A number of things have brought these thoughts to light.  There’s the wonderful Addicted to Race  pod cast that has been keeping me entertained for the past 7 months.  If you’re not listening, you are missing out.  www.addictedtorace.com.  There have also some been deep conversations with friends about interracial dating.  My project at school also focuses on race, specifically how to mixed race individuals utilize mainstream and ethnic media.  Then there’s been the “culture shock” of returning to Arizona from Missouri, and dealing with all the changes that have taken place here dealing with race, especially politically and culturally (95.1 FM anyone?).  There are several other things that have brought race back into my mind as a topic that clearly needs addressing.  This is more rambling than deep thought at the moment, but be prepared for more.